Fear of Commitment from Wikipedia

Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.

The term commitmentphobia was coined in the popular self-help book Men Who Can't Love in 1987. Following criticism of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitmentphobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitmentphobia in a later work, He's Scared, She's Scared.

Commitmentphobia is often most strongly apparent in romantic life. Generally, commitmentphobic people claim that they are eager to find a lasting romantic attachment and get married, yet they fail to find appropriate partners and maintain longlasting connections. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitmentphobic partner craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical craving for a frightening reality leads to a confusing and destructive pattern of seduction and rejection. The results are emotionally devastating.

The key to understanding commitmentphobia is recognizing that such behavior is rooted in fear -- fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitmentphobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape. Commitmentphobia is a real disabling fear, that can be manifest in many areas of life, including career, home ownership, or even shoe shopping. This fear can make simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden.

To assuage their anxieties, many commitmentphobics become fantasy-driven, using their active imaginations to fill in for the lack of emotional security and closeness in their lives. Of course, these fantasies pose additional problems because no potential partner, car, or job can ever live up to the fantasy. Commitmentphobics are also prone to self-destructive behavior, such as walking out on partners or jobs without notice, leaving themselves and the people in their lives in untenable situations.

One potentially misleading aspect of commitmentphobic behavior is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is not the only one with a problem. In fact, commitmentphobic behavior includes "settling" for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from what might have appeared to be a stable romance. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitmentphobic.

Authors Carter and Sokol handle this circumstance by describing "active" commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by running away from relationships, and "passive" commitmentphobia, which is most strongly characterized by longsuffering devotion to an active partner who is running away, longing for a partner who has run away, and fantasy reconciliation scenarios.

Another "About Me" thing...

1. Where did your last kiss take place? On my lips
2. Who knows a secret or two about you? A lot of strangers who don't know me...and vice versa.
3. Four words to explain why you last threw up? It's my par tay...
4. Have you ever burned yourself? Yes, both metaphorically (whathisface) and literally (cooking)
5. What is crazy to you? Love at first sight
6. Favorite cuss word? Fut.
7. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? No one, I'm an angel :p
8. Who is your hero? My dad, who tells me to grow up...
9. Would you ever want to be a supermodel? I'm content with just being Super!
10. Who is the most experimental person you know? Err...me.
11. Do you tell white lies? Only to white people.
12. When is your next party? My birthday...in a U-haul!
13. Who do you want to be with right now? The person who wants to be with me as well...
14 Do you scratch when and where you want to scratch? My legs...so dry from this cold weather!
15. How do you handle a break up? I go live in a different country - oh wait, that's HOW I break up :p
16. Your motivation for tomorrow? My new job!
17. Do you know what you will wear tomorrow? Something warm...brrrr!!
18. Last person to make you laugh? My dad - he told me he'd support me if I came home.
19. Last thing you ate? Tortellini with mushrooms, tomatoes, red peppers in a cream sauce.
20. Do you ever go a few days without changing your underwear? No, I just go without.
21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect? Eww...yes. I will be forever traumatized.
22. Do daddy long legs freak you out? YES.
23. Have you ever cleaned up someone elses vomit? No.
24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it? Did it land face up or down?
25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth? Yes :p
26. Do you talk baby talk? Only to babies - age is not a factor.
27. What serial killer do you find most disturbing? Ugh...Robert Pickton!!!!
28. Do you watch court tv? No.
29. Would you ever work in a retirement home? Yes. I have.
30. Do you believe plants have feelings? Yes. Venus Fly Trap feels hunger I believe.
31. Do you laugh at people with bowl haircuts? Hahaha...um...
32. Do you have nervous twitches? No
33. Are you ever purposely irritating? Yes :)
34. If you could fly, where would you go first? Jupiter
35. Do you prefer boats or planes? Planes...faster to run away in.
36. Love or lust? Amour.
37. One best friend or 10 aquaintances? One BFF please
38. Favorite food? Too difficult.
39. Do you believe that your first love never dies? Everyone dies.
40. What upcoming event are you waiting and ready for? Retirement.
41. Current smell? Jasmine
42. Do you get your nails done? Nope...mine are naturally beautiful
43. Most favorite person? Don't have a favourite
44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds? Coffee
45. Are you an emotional person? No
46. Do you like your name? Yes...if they say it right.
47. Do you have plans this weekend? Roadtrip!
48. Do you work? Yep...and I actually like what I'm doing!!!
49. Do you dance naked in your room? All the time.
50. When did your last relationship end? Thanksgiving of last year.
51. What are you listening to right now? Erykah Badu
52. Biggest fear? Fear
53. If you can remove one emotion from romance, what would it be? Jealousy
54. Favorite place to be? Greece...at the moment. Still lots to see!
55. What are you wearing right now? Pjs
56. Are your toes painted? Yep, red.
57. Does anyone hate you? My best friend, but I think she was only kidding when she said it.
58. How many people do you trust fully? No one.
59. Did you have fun doing this? Meh.
60. Are you thinking of someone right now? Yes.

It all started with "Hey there - JohnZem"

When I received this rather random text - and the subsequent conversation resulting from it...I had to post it. It is rather entertaining - well for me, not sure about the other end.

JZ: Hey there...-JohnZem
Me: Who is this?
JZ: JohnZem
Me: Don't know you
JZ: Yeah u do
Me: How?
JZ: Mikes friend.
JZ: I came to ur house Halloween
Me: Mike who
JZ: Ur brother dumbass (**why he gotta insult?!)
Me: I didn't have anyone over for halloween uve got the wrong person
Me: My bro's name isn't mike - loser (**means I gotta insult)
JZ: Yeah mike did
JZ: Is this gaby
Me: No - I'm hotter lol. Later
JZ: Who is this then
Me: Out of your league
JZ: Who r u?!
Me: A gorgeous stranger that u will never get to know. Go find that Gaby chick instead
JZ: Gabbys ugly
Me: Then u must've been desperate
JZ: What the hell i'm not even friends with gaby
Me: Then y u msgin her?
JZ: Im just textin everyone cuz I'm bored. Just go away
Me: I already said later - u d one textin dumbass
JZ: F*ck u dush bag c ya later d*cksuck (**Guess he didn't like looking stupid)

So that was that.

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

Man...it's been so busy lately with so many assignments due. This was a week of relaxation and I spent it sending out resumes, watching Desperate Housewives and sleeping. Not that that was bad...I definitely FEEL better...hopefully all the wrinkles that were starting to build up will go away...hehe.